The secret of Pinkish brown rice kheer.

 Ours is a love marriage. In India, marriages are usually arranged by elders of the family mostly by parents, hence it is called arranged marriage. Ours was NOT an arranged marriage. We both belong to different states and hence had different cuisines to conquer along with differences due to different upbringings.

Food being the major hurdle in our lives, I decided to conquer it first, by trying to learn the easy delicacies and daily comfort food from his state. I managed to learn a few dishes and was able to master them, thanks to a few cooks we employed in our household. 

My mother-in-law is an excellent cook, which is was an additional stress for me because whatever I make will be measured and rated against Mom-in-laws 10/10. One thing which many cannot beat my mother-in-law is rice kheer. Her rice kheer is just divine. My husband drools with just the memory of it. When I ask my mother in law to share the recipe, she underplays the whole things saying its just milk sugar rice and cardamom powder. She would never let me in the kitchen when she is  making it and would send me on some errand or the other. Her rice kheer, in addition to being so yummy would look great too with a pinkish brown hue. So naturally, I tried my hand at making rice kheer, by looking up recipes in internet. But how much so ever I tried, though I could get the taste, I was never able to get the color. I tried boiling the milk for a long time till the milk thickens, but would get only creamy yellowish color but  never the pinkish brown. When I mention this to her during our visits, she would just give a smile, which seem to taunt me that I can never get at par with her in her culinary skills.

I always used to come back from the visits disheartened and with no enhanced knowledge of the pinkish brown rice kheer. One day while looking at some baking videos, I stumbled upon the process of caramalising sugar and the color it gives. Lo and behold!! I got my answer. I just need to caramalise sugar and add it to the kheer to get the color. From then, my kheer also started getting close to full marks(though not 10//10 yet :-() in taste and also in color. Thanks to internet, my husband is able to enjoy his favourite kheer whenever he likes.

 

The year that slipped by

Today is 31st Dec 2020 - the new years eve. What can be said of 2020 - It is the year which whoever is alive on the planet earth will not forget, a year that almost slipped by, for most of the people stayed at home. It is a year which brought out different perspective in people, which brought out new meanings of life, new ways of living, new avenues were explored, new normal was defined.

It is a year missed.

A year where we missed physically meeting people, and when met, was at a distance and with a half covered face(masks on!). Children missed school, friends missed hanging out, no meetings outside family, no dinner invitations, no eating out and the list goes on.. many people lost lives, many lost dear ones, many are battling for their lives, and many recovered. And many like me stayed at home for major part of the year. It was like sand slipping through the fingers.

It was a year of unpredictability

A year which made us realise that whatever you have planned for the year can go terribly wrong, your goals unachievable and everything can become topsy-turvy. It was a year where the meaning of  saying that man proposes and God disposes got reinforced. It was year where organizations relooked at options to work remotely and work from home became the new norm. Many people lost jobs, many had salary-cuts. Many so called strong organisations and entities shut shop or just striving through.

It was a year of blessing!

For me personally, despite the world suffering and the restrictions, this was a blessing in disguise. Let me explain : I discovered I was pregnant with my second child on 27th January 2020. The lockdown started end of March and since then, my husband has been mostly working from home till and after the birth of my daughter in August. My elder daughter's school was closed from March and she was at home and has been taking classes online since then. I don't know how I would have managed my pregnancy if I had to drop and pick my daughter to school and my husband had to go to office.

It was a year of panic, of desperation ,of helplessness!

My in-laws tested positive mid of september 2020. I could witness the helplessness, the anguish, the turmoil that my husband faced, since both his parents, who have comorbidities, were suffering far away from him and he could not be physically present there with them. He was in dilemma whether he should go there to help them, or stay back, since if he gets infected, there would not be anyone there at my in-laws place to take care of him, and if he were to return back, he would be exposing the new born and us to infection. It was tough, a very tough call to take. Thankfully, they recovered.

It was a year of gratitude 

Grateful that we are able to sustain, that we have food at our table and roof over our heads. Grateful to have a family, for friends, for well wishers, for friends who are like family. Grateful to be able to afford good medical care and other comforts. Grateful for life overall. 

It was a year of self reliance, aatmanirbharata.

I finally understood my strengths, that I could go on even with physical constraints. We stopped our domestic help and our cook from end of March. I was managing the house, cooking three times, taking care of my 3 year old, managing all the housework inspite of being pregnant, which I managed to do till the eve of my admission to the hospital. I got admitted on 21st August morning, after having contractions most of the previous night. And we were back from the hospital on the day 3 of admission, with the baby. After 15 days downtime, I was able to manage the house again, with a lot of help from my family. I did not visit a beauty parlor and my husband did not visit a salon even for a haircut. I started giving him hair cuts at home and with practice, now I can say that I do a decent job.  I also realized, I can be emotionally strong and can think with my head during stressful situations.

It was a year of extended family time 

With work from home and online classes, the line between school/office and home has become thinner resulting in great family time. We had great fun during festivals, dressed up, had home cooked delicacies, many of which were made for the first time by me, had balcony dinners, overall had a great family time.

This was the year when my little munchkin grew-up overnight

From being the one and only apple of our eyes, she became a elder sister overnight. I feel proud to see how she has coped up with the situation and the divided and reduced attention which she started getting after the baby. She has showed that she is a storehouse of love by being the loving elder sister. She was expected to understand, help and share, which she is doing Proud of her.

It was a year where I rediscovered my creative side

Though I had started my YouTube channel somewhere in 2019, I was not very active and was sporadic in posting videos. With the lockdown and self-imposed stay at home and with husband working from home, I was able to shoot and post videos fairly regularly, in spite of being pregnant and with the housework. This came with the realization, that I enjoyed doing this, which I intend to continue in the coming year.

It was a year where I did zero shopping for myself.

I was a impulsive shopper. I am not a shopaholic, but I have occasions where I splurge without thinking, I shop when I am bored. This year, with restricted stepping out of the house and due to pregnancy, I did not buy any clothes at all. I managed with my old nighties and oversized t-shirts. I recollect, during my first pregnancy, I wanted everything new during pregnancy and after the baby. But this time, I reused my elder daughters clothes which I had kept as keepsakes for my younger one. I also did the bare minimum shopping(online) for the new baby. All the experience gained during the first baby came in handy and I was glad that I am able to maintain the minimalism which I had wanted to in beginning of the year.

It was a year where we ate very less of outside food

Except for the past two months, we have had not ordered in or dined out at all in this year. I tried out different dishes at home and all of us enjoyed it.

It was a year that we realized that we need very less to sustain 

Our tenant vacated the flat we had rented out by end of October and we started living in the flat with bare minimum just to enjoy our flat, in which we had never lived. We rented in basic furniture, carried most essential utensils and a gas stove and a few pairs of clothes to the flat. And we are doing just great. We are totally in love with the minimalistic life. I am cleaning utensils by hand, hand washing clothes and are continuing having great home cooked food. This has made us realize how much of material things we have accumulated over years, which we don't need. We realized that less is enough, that less is more and that less is easy maintenance. One of my goals of 2021 would be to declutter and donate many of the things which we can do away with. 

It was a year where I made peace with negativity around me.

I am a very emotional person. Someone else's behavior affects me adversely and I show the effect on my loved ones by being, moody, angry, sad or sulky. This year, I have realized how I am negatively  affecting my daughter and husband because of my behavior. Now I have learnt to ignore the negativity around me and get on with life. 

So with a very positive outlook, I look forward to the new year. I hope and wish that year 2021 brings in good tidings along with the vaccine and we shall continue the good lessons learnt this year.

Wish you all a very happy, healthy and prosperous new year 2021!

  

How to be Atmanirbhar(self reliant) at home

Finally the lockdown is coming to an end, though not the increase in new covid cases. Many of you would have to return to office to work and have to forego the safety of working from home.

Many of you would have to start to re-employ your domestic helps to help in your household chores and in cooking. But do we really have enough trust in doing so? Are we exposing our loved ones unnecessarily - especially for people who have aged parents, young children, pregnant women, or people with existing ailments who are supposedly in the high risk category? We still have the lingering doubts in our minds to think of opening our doors to infections. (Please note I am not discussing nannies and care givers here. 

These I presume are usually trained well enough to maintain highest degree of hygiene.)

But if we have to go back to office, not getting help from domestic helps is not an option for many of us. Given the situation, how can we avoid that- how can we become “Atmanirbhar” – self reliant and self sufficient at home. Is it even possible?

Thankfully, it  is – with some planning and smart working.

All of us have our basic necessities which need to be met whatever the situation is – food, clothing,and shelter, our roti, kapda aur makhan. If any one of them has to be compromised, our lives get jeopardized. In this post, I am going to discuss about two of the necessities – the food and shelter. Clothing – I am going by the presumption that we don’t require to acquire immediately and in near future(at least for next couple of months). 

Even if we do, I guess those can be ordered online and can be quarantined for couple of days before actual usage.

Now let us talk about food :

To have a meal on our table involves three aspects – acquiring raw material, preparation and cleaning up.

Let’s address one by one – we usually don’t take help in step 1 – we generally buy our raw materials like vegetables, fruits and grocery either from shops or order online.

By now, I presume many of us have already mastered the art of correctly cleaning and storing the vegetables and fruits. For the benefit of those of you who don’t – for perishables like fruits and vegetables, wash them in water with baking soda/salt to disinfect them. The outer packaging of groceries should be discarded immediately after transferring the contents to the containers at home. Ensure you wash your hands and clean the surface where the packages were places after transferring them

For step 2, some of us employ cooks – to prep (by this I mean cleaning,chopping,soaking, grinding) and prepare food.  How can we become self reliant on that – all it requires is a little planning and the right tools and equipment.

   

      1.  Make a meal plan for the week and acquire the required materials for the same.

     2. Clean, chop and store the vegetables in the refrigerator in separate packs. You can invest in a good food processor to ease up the process. My food processor helps me to knead atta, chop and shred vegetables, make idli-dosa batter, make juices, grind masala etc. It saves time and I can process them in bulk and store them in refrigerator for couple of days. For example, I make idli dosa batter , shred and store coconut, knead atta once a week. I also peel garlic(sometimes I buy already peeled garlic, when I am making garlic heavy recipes), separate mint leaves and other regular greens like fenugreek and spinach once  a week and use them throughout the week.

 3.  Have a few easy days where you can have simple breakfast like oatmeal, cornflakes with milk, sandwich, sprouts or just fruits which require very little preparation. Other days you can choose to have simple breakfast like idli, dosa, upma, pongal, poha , Poori/parata etc.

     4. Plan simple lunch menu which requires less time. My every day lunch would include rice, one vegetable side dish and papad/fryums. If it is not some kind of variety rice(like puligore, pulav, biryani, fried rice, mint rice, tomato rice, lemon rice), I have one of dal, sambhar, rasam,dalma to mix with rice.For side dish I have one vegetable dish like okhra, broad beans, potato,any variety of gourd, carrots, beans etc. I ensure to have at least two varieties of greens every week(usually fenugreek and spinach)

 5. If you are not very much particular on variety, you can have go easy on elaborate dinner preparations as well. My weekly dinner would be idli/ dosa for 3 days, roti for 2 days , 1 day wheat dosa, 1 day besan chilla, along with sambhar different types of lentil/gram curries, vegetable curries or paneer.

 6. Store some ready to eat stuff to cater to hunger pangs like pop corn, Makhana, cheese, rusk etc.

Now coming to the most difficult part(at least for me) - cleaning up. Invest in a dishwasher – believe me, it makes your life so much easier, even if you have domestic help. There will be no breakages of crockery and glassware with your dishwasher, you can get squeaky clean and dry utensils and you would take away your dependency on your domestic help. It is an investment which I don’t regret.

Coming to the cleaning of counter top and stove after cooking – for this you have to ensure that you exercise caution to not mess it up much in the first place. Like for example placing the peels and vegetable remains in a separate bin immediately after chopping, using a spoon rest and ensuring lesser accidental spills.Just a wipe after cooking, should clean up the space if you are careful.

Now let us see how to manage the shelter part of necessities - by which I mean dusting, cleaning and mopping.

Dusting – I don’t see an alternative, other than to manually dust. I know some of you might suggest a hand held vacuum cleaner – I find it cumbersome. I prefer the old fashioned duster and dusting cloth, may be with some cleaning solution. For this step, I apply the divide and conquer phenomenon, to dust and clean one part of the house each day, so that the whole chore will not look daunting. Having a clutter free home helps expedite the process. I don’t prefer to have too many decor objects at home in order to complete dusting faster. Have decor which you can maintain. Others, pack it up and put it away for better times( like when you can safely have your help back). Have pools/stations, where you can place similar items on a tray, which can ease -up wiping and dusting. For example, place your center table decor on a tray, TV remotes and  mobile chargers in a box/tray, Oils and seasonings in the kitchen in a tray, so that it becomes easy to move one tray instead of many smaller objects while cleaning.Using washable  table cloth and place-mats on dining table helps avoid dusting of the same. After use , you just need throw it in the washing machine to clean it.

Cleaning and mopping : I can almost hear many of you whispering vacuum cleaner again. But from my experience, vacuuming is more cumbersome than actual manual sweeping. You have to cover every inch of the space with your vacuum cleaner to clean. Moreover, it does not mop. Thankfully, we live in times of the robot cleaners, which go about sweeping and mopping all by themselves. The good and funny part is, unlike vacuum cleaners, they go and plug themselves in the charging point to charge themselves after their juice runs out. So my next investment suggestion to be self reliant at home is – robot cleaner.

A good food processor, dishwasher and robot cleaner- these three gifts of technology shall help us to stay atmanirbhar (self reliant)

Please share your views in comments what else good be done to atmanirbhar at home.

How to keep kids engaged - during lock down

These are testing times indeed - testing our endurance, our patience, our adaptability, our compassion and our human values.

With the out break of the novel corona virus and the threat it poses to the world and to our country, it has become advisable not to venture out unless there is a dire need to do so. With online shopping for groceries, work from home option for many and schools shut down, this does not seem to be difficult.

But after a week or so being at home with the complete family - kids who want to play all day, spouse who has telecons and is working from home and in many instances the domestic help and cook being absent, it becomes daunting - especially to manage kids,with restrictions on usage of play area, the pool and other common amenities.

If you have a kid who still not in the able to read by self stage, these tips are for you :

1. Read from story books : This is the time to inculcate the joy of books to the kid. Order some picture story books which the kid can look at when you are reading the story to him/her. Be as dramatic and as expressive as you can be. Use voice modulation, facial expression and hand gestures to make them understand and visualise the character. If there is an older sibling(s), next time when the child wants the story they can try to imitate the way you told the story. Ask the child to repeat the story the next day. And when he/she does it, applaud and praise them.

2.Coloring books and white paper : Get some coloring books and crayons/color pencils. Make the child color the book. Let them make a mess on the books and get as creative as only they can be on the white paper. It is ok as long as they have fun. To ensure they donot scribble/color on the walls or furniture, place a mat/carpet/rug in the middle of the room Tell them we are on pretend play and we are on a boat - what ever falls off the mat/carpet/rug is into the water and cannot be retrieved. Play along with them

3. Hide and seek : Play hide and seek at home. Before start, educate them of no go places, like near to the electrical appliances like fridge, washing machine computer, into the kitchen, wet bathroom(s), open balconies etc. Identify the unsafe places to hide and restrict those places as no go.

4. Play dressing up : It is not necessary to wear your best clothes only if you have a party to attend or during festivals. Bring out the party wear/festival wear and dress up the kid (and yourself if you like). Get the full party/festive looks - do the hair, wear appropriate jewellery and make up. And take plenty of photographs. Pose as silly as possible. Play these photos on TV and giggle along with your kid(s). If you have some particular costumes for your kid(s) you can use them too.Be as imaginative as possible.

5.Make them do small house hold work : Kids, especially the young ones, love to do what the grown-ups do. Take advantage of this - ask them to help you in shelling peas, separating the leaves from leafy vegetables like fenugreek/amaranthus, sweep the floor, dust the table, arranging the cushions on sofa,sort and pick their clothes from the washed clothes pile, etc. Donot expect the job to be completed by them Remember, our intention is to keep them engaged, not to get the work them, Engage them in converstion when they are doing it and praise them when they attempt to do it right.

6. Shoe lace and beads : Get a shoe lace and some big beads and ask them to create a string of beads . It is easier to string on the hard end of the shoelace. Make a bracelet/necklace for dolls from them and make a big show off of their achievement by showing the finished product to everyone in the family.

7. Increase screen time : I completely understand how finicky most of us are in allowing more screen time to kids. But these are difficult times. It is ok if kids watch an hour more of TV. Just be sure that what they watch is age appropiate. My daughter is 3.5 years old and I play animated movies for her, which I watch along with her explaining scene by scene, so that she understands and enjoys the same.

8. Plant something and make them watch it grow :I think money plants are a life saver here - get a clear glass bottle, pour water and put a money plant in it. Show the kids how the roots and leaves grow. Make it a ritual to see the growth every day morning. 

9. Make them talk and listen to them : Ask them to recollect past instances like some trip, or a visit to a friends place, or to a restaurant, supermarket etc and listen to them, ask questions as appropriate - many times we will be pleasantly surprised to see the world from their perspective. This improves their ability to recollect and elaborate and explain things. 

10. Make plans for future : Discuss and ask them to make plans for immediate future, like what we will do when we can go out to the mall/supermarket/pool etc. Make them list down all the steps we need to follow For example, my daughter's version to go out on a saturday, she needs to wake up, brush her teeth, use the bathroom, take bath ,wash her hair(I wash her hair on saturdays), dry her hair, have milk, eat breakfast, pack her shopping bag(she has a small backpack in which she carries water bottle, change of clothes, hankies and diapers), ask ma and papa to get ready, wear shoes and then go to the car. After going to the mall, she will want to have icecream/pizza/chicken popcorn, visit toy store, ride in shopping cart etc.. she will list down that as well.

For older kids :

11. Teach them crafts : This is a good time to make them learn a new craft, be it sewing, embroidery, painting, knitting, anything which they are interested in

12. Sudoku/Puzzles/board games : They can do sudoku, solve puzzles or play board games like chess, snake and ladders, carroms etc. Many of these can be done online. Just be sure you monitor what they are doing.

13. Reading fiction/Non-fiction : If there is no stress on upcoming examinations, make them read fiction/non-fiction to enhance their vocabulary and knowledge.

14 : Cooking and other basic survival needs: Make them learn basic cooking like making tea, boiling eggs, making a sandwich, set a cooker, make small meals etc. Ensure safety when in kitchen. Make them keep the home clean, run a washing machine, fold clothers, organise their books, and be presentable always. This will help you in the lonjg run when you need a break from the every day chores.

With the scare of pandemic all around, let us try to create a positive environment at home and stay safe.

My new year day over the years

Today is 1st of Jan 2020. Most of the people of the world are celebrating the New years day - Last night, many of my friends partied hard, some of my friends are on their vacation to exotic places, some of the folks threw lavish dinners. For a few like me we stayed at home, life going on as usual. Yes, I did make a few calls to the people I value most in my life wishing them the best in the year to come. But other than that, when I introspect and after seeing all facebook posts and instagram updates, do I have FOMO(the millenial word for fear of missing out)? Thankfully, no. I am happy to be where I am with what I have. 

I was chatting with my husband how New year day used be when we were younger - when we were in school, college, beginning of employment and were musing over how New years day celebration has changed over years.

When I was in school, New years day used to fall during winter vacation. Most of the first 10 years of my life, my parents took me to our native place, in remote Tamil Nadu, where I would have the best of holidays with my cousins. It used to be the get together time for the entire family. I don't recall wishing anyone happy new year in the first 10-12 years of my life(please ignore my first 6 years- I was too young to remember them).

Next phase is when I entered my teens. That was the time,when I had started reading a lot of books and my awareness of the outside world began to widen - thanks to Enid Blyton books and various comics and magazines. That was also the time when greeting cards started appearing in the small town I grew up in. Some well off kids used to give the teachers New year greeting cards after the vacation at school. For those like me who do not know where to acquire them, in order to feel not left out, I started painting beautiful pictures and turned them to greeting cards to give them to teachers. That was new year for me - no celebrations, not at home , not in the town. I do not know if my other classmates celebrated New year. For all I know, everyone celebration Ugadi- the Telugu New year, not the Calendar New year. During 9th- 10th standard, I knew where to buy the greeting cards and bought them depending on the spare pocket money left. Else, the painted cards continued for the New year and most of the Indian festivals like Sankranti, Deepavali etc. Being south Indian,we did not celebrate Holi.

After school, during my intermediate college, graduation days, the New year was a time when greeting cards were purchased in advance with fervor, addressed and posted. I used to receive a few from my friends and cousins too, some of which I still am holding on to. On New years day, we meet up in someones' house , chit chat and hand exchange greeting cards. That was the celebration.

Then after graduation, I moved to Chennai - the circle of friends grew; new friends with new ideas got added. Night show movie plans, mid night beach plans were made. But since I was staying in a hostel which had a cut-off time of 9.30 p.m, I just used to listen to the stories of what my friends did on New years eve. 

After taking up employment, in the initial few years, every day was fun,every weekend was a celebration - be it with friends or alone. If with friends, used to go on drives, try different restaurents. If alone, binge watch movies or read books with pizza, coke , potato chips and many other junk food. Did not really miss celebrating New year.

After marriage, New year became a time to make new resolutions, have a scoreboard of last years resolutions and evaluate how many of them were achieved, catch up with friends, binge on good food.

Past few years - New years day became just one more day in life. And I am  absolutely fine with that.

Now coming to my husbands New years celebration - during his school and college days, it was the day of picnic - when family and friends get together to catch-up on happening of others life. Since most of them were in public sector, the public holidays were the time when they look forward to meet the family and friends. Being the time when landline  phones where limited and public transport was not that great, catching up could happen only on those days. They used to go to some place closer to jungle with a good water source with all the equipment and ingredients required for cooking. It was a communal cooking, serving and eating. All good anecdotes are shared, games played, playful teasing done - everyone had a good time and everyone used to look forward to it. He misses those picnics in Bangalore.

New year day nowadays has become a big market. It has become a big event with event managers being engaged, party costumes designed, venues being selected, fat entrance fee being paid and big lavish parties with food , dance and booze being organised in various places in the city.In our own society, the community hall is decorated with innumerable balloons, glitter paper, lights, and all the other party decoration, There is ban on use of plastic and everyone is advised to use reusable cutlery, cups and plates. I dont know why balloons and other plastic based decorations are not banned. I feel they do cause an equal damage to the environment.

Over the years, I feel the idea of having a good time has changed. It has become more of a social pressure than actually have a good time. But if you cut out the FOMO, the basics good things in life still persist - tasty food, meeting/chatting with friends, good books, good movies, playing a game, listening to music, visiting interesting places, praying to God. So what is your pick?

Things which I wish I had not done

As the year 2019 comes to an end, I thought of sharing with everyone few things/expenses( I am refraining from calling them mistakes intentionally) which I could have avoided in my life so far.

I will first start with my marriage. Mine was not an arranged marriage and my spouse and I were a little pleased with ourselves for having organised our wedding completely by ourselves. But on further thinking all these years, I regret a few of the things which we could have avoided. 

1. Buying too many clothes :

 We had a wrong notion that after marriage we should wear only new clothes and we will be getting too many invitations where we should go dressed our best. With this incorrect notion in mind, we ended up buying expensive clothes - many silk saris which cost a arm and a leg, expensive kurtas and silk shirts for my husband. As of now, I have so many silk saris which I hardly get to wear - some of them, I have worn only once and some of them not even once. All of them are so expensive and so rich that, I don't get an occasion to wear them at all. Even if I manage to wear on some festival, it becomes a pain, since I have to look out to manage them from getting soiled.

If I could turn back the clock, I would have loved not to have purchased so many saris which I hardly wear - now I just hoard them, since I cant give them away due to their cost.

I have not worn my wedding sari or my reception sari even once after my wedding and reception. And for the record, I am married for more than 8 years. I had spent thousands of my hard earned money on them just for a day of my life.

2.Buying heavy gold jewellery :

 One more mistake I did before marriage(for marriage) is to buy heavy gold jewellery. I have not worn my wedding jewellery even once after my wedding day. So much money blocked for one day. 

If I could turn back the clock, I would have advised my younger self not buy such heavy ones which can not be worn ever again - rather, invest the money, or, if interested in buying gold, buy smaller pieces, which could have been worn in day to day life.

3. Buying too many clothes for an infant :

  I am blessed with a beautiful daughter - she is three and half years old now. I was on cloud nine to be holding my own bundle of joy and wanted the very best for her. In such a process, I bought her too many of  cute looking clothes, tutu dresses,  baby blankets, baby shoes, socks, hair bands, sweaters, thermals, jackets etc..In my mind I was giving her the best. These things did not fit her after 2 months, her sweater, jackets etc., were smaller in size by the time her first winter came in. I learnt the hard way that babies grow up fast.

All the cute little things, which I had hardly made her wear became smaller and not usable in just couple of months. Did I learn my lesson - yes, but after good two years later. I realise now, that kids grow very fast. It is not  necessary to by so many expensive clothes for them. It is better to get them comfortable, reasonably priced clothing which will last a few of months. Believe me, they will outgrow them soon and you will again have to shop. Instead of clothes, invest in good educative toys and books

Now you may wonder what did I do to all those cute little things - I kept a few as keepsakes and donated the rest. Now it has become a routine - I donate her clothes and footwear, every couple of months.

4. Footwear :

How many pairs of footwear does one need? If you were anyone like how I was, you would say, you would need at least one in each color of your outfits. I liked the idea of matching my footwear with my outfit and ended up with more than a dozen pairs of footwear, which continued growing over the years. This collection was excluding the walking sandals, walking shoes, gym shoes and sneakers. Not all of my footwear were comfortable - but I wore them anyway.

But once I became pregnant with my daughter, I wanted to wear comfortable footwear, since my ankles used to get swollen and I had the fear of slipping and falling. So, we went to most of the premium footwear shops and I ended up buying one pair of  black sandals and one pair of boat shoes in neutral color, which cost a bomb. These I purchased when I was 4 months pregnant. Now my daughter is three and half years old. I have not worn any other footwear since then. Now I realize what it means in investing in one good pair of footwear.

I still have my 20 odd pair of footwear from my pre-pregnant days. I am hoarding them for the rainy day, pun intended.

5. Hand Bags :

 Just like footwear, I was a collector of handbags and wallets. Most of my hand bags were of PU leather, and matched with some of my outfits. Being a working woman then, I did not get as many chances as I would have loved to flaunt my handbags back then, since five days of the week I was lugging the laptop bag and a lunch bag to office. Only during weekends, I got a chance to use my handbags. Howerver, on many weekends we dont go out and the usage got further restricted. But that did not stop me from buying more hand bags. Every abroad trip, I bought more hand bags. I started running out of space to store them in my wardrobe. I started putting smaller ones inside the bigger ones. It became a chore to maintain them. Then one day I noticed that the skin on one of the handles of my yet to use bag started peeling off. I was devastated. I got down all my stock of bags and examined them, only to realise that most of them have started to peel off/ started to get worn off.

With a heavy heart I sorted and donated all the used ones. I made a point to use the unused ones for some time before I donated them too.My domestic help was one happy lady that day when I gave her so many hand bags.

Now I have a few handbags which I am sure will stand the test of time. And yes, I dont intend to buy anymore handbags in the near future. The ones I have, will last a lifetime if taken care properly.

6. Scissors :

 How many pairs of scissors does a household need? 2..3 or 4? My husband is obsessed with buying scissors of all sizes. His favorite pick up item in departmental store or euro store as the situation may be will be scissors. We have 2 scissors in kitchen, 2 in each of the bathroom, 2 in my dresser, 1 in each of the cars glove compartments, 1 in medical kit, 1 in toiletries kit, one in manicure kit, one in sewing kit,2 with stationery supplies. I think you can find a pair of scissors at my home if you open any storage compartment.

But when we actually need to use one, everyone goes to the kitchen and use that one. So why hoard so many. I dont know. 

7. Spectacles :

 I am a spectacles wearer. I have impaired vision and was advised to wear glasses at all times. I am very regular on my yearly check-ups and change my glasses if there is a fluctuation in the power of my eyesight. in this process, over the years, I ended up with many frames with lenses which donot suit me anymore. Then sometime two-three years ago, I got this wise idea to replace just the lens and continue using the frame. Till date this seems to be a good idea. Now I have two pairs of spectacles and one pair of sun shades.Well done pat for me.

8. Watches :

Between my husband and me, we have more than 15 watches. But we use only 3 or 4 out of them. Others are just lying around. In the age of mobile phones, wearing a watch is more a fashion accessory than a time watch. Do we really need so many watches? One statement piece should do. So, I do not intend to invest in one more watch ever.

9. Trading in shares and involvement in Futures and options:

Trading in shares, and plunging in Futures and Options requires dedicated hours during market time. This feat cannot be managed when you are in a demanding full time employment. Learnt this lesson the hard way after burning our fingers badly.

10. Investment in a home/flat : 

It is a dream for many to own a home. People put in all their life's savings in getting a home. However, in todays world, nothing is permanent. We had to move to multiple places within the city depending on the work location, since it was not feasible to travel for almost 3 hours everyday for work. Our own flat remained vacant most of the time. Lesson learnt : it is not a good idea to own a flat, when your job requires you to be some place else and you have EMIs to pay on the flat. One might argue that the flat could be rented out- believe me, the after tax income from rent will not even cover half the EMI. In addition to that you will have to bear with your tenant's tantrums.

In todays employment world and traffic woes, it is best to have a tension free life - rent a home close to your place of work and have more time on your hand. The bonus point- you will be spending less than half of the EMI which you would have paid if you have purchased a flat.

These are the ten things which I wish I could have done differently. From 2020, I wish to intentionally start on a minimalistic life. That does not mean I am going to throw away/dispose/give away things I have already collected - I am going to use them wisely till they last. What I intend to do is not add on more.

Wishing you a happy, healthy and prosperous New year 2020.

The Smudged Nail Polish

It was 11 O'clock in the night. My toddler had finally fallen asleep. I slowly sneaked out of the bedroom so that I donot wake my daughter or my husband.  With an active toddler, I hardly get any time for myself, to read a book or to relax. I switched on the light in the living room and snuggle in the sofa. I was not in a mood to read anything. So I just relax -  doing nothing.. I was just reminiscing the day when I noticed that my nail polish that I was currently wearing had chipped off.

I decided to change my nail polish color and apply a new shade - a vibrant orangy rose. So equipped with cotton balls,nail polish remover and the new nail color, I head out to the balcony with headphones. I play a relaxing music on my mobile and with careful dabbing of the nail polish remover, I remove the old nail color from both the hands.

Then I soaked my fingers in lukewarm water with a few drops of almond oil and baby shampoo for 5 minutes. Then I washed my hands and pat dried them. This seemed to be a luxury that I was enjoying and I was very pleased with myself.

And then, with loving care, started applying my favorite nail polish. After one coat, I applied one more coat. My fingers looked beautiful - I admired them when I let them dry. Then I thought, let me apply the clear nail polish as top coat. I applied the clear coat and was very pleased with the effect. And.. I started to wait.. for the clear coat to dry..it seemed ages that it took to dry. When I thought the paint was dry, I went to bed and slept-off.

Next day morning, to my display and disappointment, what do I see, my beautiful nails have creases in the paint and also hair marks.. I seemed to have slept off without totally drying up the paint.

Now, the chances of me finding same amount of time to redo my nails in next couple of days seems next to impossible. Then I realise my nails actually look like modern art, like an abstract painting. My thoughts of spoilt nails was replaced by admiration for the new look.

Life is also like that. Sometimes, in spite of all the efforts, the result is not the same as what you expect. That does not mean the result is bad - it may be better.

And as they say - when life gives you lemons, make lemonade :-)