Things which I wish I had not done

As the year 2019 comes to an end, I thought of sharing with everyone few things/expenses( I am refraining from calling them mistakes intentionally) which I could have avoided in my life so far.

I will first start with my marriage. Mine was not an arranged marriage and my spouse and I were a little pleased with ourselves for having organised our wedding completely by ourselves. But on further thinking all these years, I regret a few of the things which we could have avoided. 

1. Buying too many clothes :

 We had a wrong notion that after marriage we should wear only new clothes and we will be getting too many invitations where we should go dressed our best. With this incorrect notion in mind, we ended up buying expensive clothes - many silk saris which cost a arm and a leg, expensive kurtas and silk shirts for my husband. As of now, I have so many silk saris which I hardly get to wear - some of them, I have worn only once and some of them not even once. All of them are so expensive and so rich that, I don't get an occasion to wear them at all. Even if I manage to wear on some festival, it becomes a pain, since I have to look out to manage them from getting soiled.

If I could turn back the clock, I would have loved not to have purchased so many saris which I hardly wear - now I just hoard them, since I cant give them away due to their cost.

I have not worn my wedding sari or my reception sari even once after my wedding and reception. And for the record, I am married for more than 8 years. I had spent thousands of my hard earned money on them just for a day of my life.

2.Buying heavy gold jewellery :

 One more mistake I did before marriage(for marriage) is to buy heavy gold jewellery. I have not worn my wedding jewellery even once after my wedding day. So much money blocked for one day. 

If I could turn back the clock, I would have advised my younger self not buy such heavy ones which can not be worn ever again - rather, invest the money, or, if interested in buying gold, buy smaller pieces, which could have been worn in day to day life.

3. Buying too many clothes for an infant :

  I am blessed with a beautiful daughter - she is three and half years old now. I was on cloud nine to be holding my own bundle of joy and wanted the very best for her. In such a process, I bought her too many of  cute looking clothes, tutu dresses,  baby blankets, baby shoes, socks, hair bands, sweaters, thermals, jackets etc..In my mind I was giving her the best. These things did not fit her after 2 months, her sweater, jackets etc., were smaller in size by the time her first winter came in. I learnt the hard way that babies grow up fast.

All the cute little things, which I had hardly made her wear became smaller and not usable in just couple of months. Did I learn my lesson - yes, but after good two years later. I realise now, that kids grow very fast. It is not  necessary to by so many expensive clothes for them. It is better to get them comfortable, reasonably priced clothing which will last a few of months. Believe me, they will outgrow them soon and you will again have to shop. Instead of clothes, invest in good educative toys and books

Now you may wonder what did I do to all those cute little things - I kept a few as keepsakes and donated the rest. Now it has become a routine - I donate her clothes and footwear, every couple of months.

4. Footwear :

How many pairs of footwear does one need? If you were anyone like how I was, you would say, you would need at least one in each color of your outfits. I liked the idea of matching my footwear with my outfit and ended up with more than a dozen pairs of footwear, which continued growing over the years. This collection was excluding the walking sandals, walking shoes, gym shoes and sneakers. Not all of my footwear were comfortable - but I wore them anyway.

But once I became pregnant with my daughter, I wanted to wear comfortable footwear, since my ankles used to get swollen and I had the fear of slipping and falling. So, we went to most of the premium footwear shops and I ended up buying one pair of  black sandals and one pair of boat shoes in neutral color, which cost a bomb. These I purchased when I was 4 months pregnant. Now my daughter is three and half years old. I have not worn any other footwear since then. Now I realize what it means in investing in one good pair of footwear.

I still have my 20 odd pair of footwear from my pre-pregnant days. I am hoarding them for the rainy day, pun intended.

5. Hand Bags :

 Just like footwear, I was a collector of handbags and wallets. Most of my hand bags were of PU leather, and matched with some of my outfits. Being a working woman then, I did not get as many chances as I would have loved to flaunt my handbags back then, since five days of the week I was lugging the laptop bag and a lunch bag to office. Only during weekends, I got a chance to use my handbags. Howerver, on many weekends we dont go out and the usage got further restricted. But that did not stop me from buying more hand bags. Every abroad trip, I bought more hand bags. I started running out of space to store them in my wardrobe. I started putting smaller ones inside the bigger ones. It became a chore to maintain them. Then one day I noticed that the skin on one of the handles of my yet to use bag started peeling off. I was devastated. I got down all my stock of bags and examined them, only to realise that most of them have started to peel off/ started to get worn off.

With a heavy heart I sorted and donated all the used ones. I made a point to use the unused ones for some time before I donated them too.My domestic help was one happy lady that day when I gave her so many hand bags.

Now I have a few handbags which I am sure will stand the test of time. And yes, I dont intend to buy anymore handbags in the near future. The ones I have, will last a lifetime if taken care properly.

6. Scissors :

 How many pairs of scissors does a household need? 2..3 or 4? My husband is obsessed with buying scissors of all sizes. His favorite pick up item in departmental store or euro store as the situation may be will be scissors. We have 2 scissors in kitchen, 2 in each of the bathroom, 2 in my dresser, 1 in each of the cars glove compartments, 1 in medical kit, 1 in toiletries kit, one in manicure kit, one in sewing kit,2 with stationery supplies. I think you can find a pair of scissors at my home if you open any storage compartment.

But when we actually need to use one, everyone goes to the kitchen and use that one. So why hoard so many. I dont know. 

7. Spectacles :

 I am a spectacles wearer. I have impaired vision and was advised to wear glasses at all times. I am very regular on my yearly check-ups and change my glasses if there is a fluctuation in the power of my eyesight. in this process, over the years, I ended up with many frames with lenses which donot suit me anymore. Then sometime two-three years ago, I got this wise idea to replace just the lens and continue using the frame. Till date this seems to be a good idea. Now I have two pairs of spectacles and one pair of sun shades.Well done pat for me.

8. Watches :

Between my husband and me, we have more than 15 watches. But we use only 3 or 4 out of them. Others are just lying around. In the age of mobile phones, wearing a watch is more a fashion accessory than a time watch. Do we really need so many watches? One statement piece should do. So, I do not intend to invest in one more watch ever.

9. Trading in shares and involvement in Futures and options:

Trading in shares, and plunging in Futures and Options requires dedicated hours during market time. This feat cannot be managed when you are in a demanding full time employment. Learnt this lesson the hard way after burning our fingers badly.

10. Investment in a home/flat : 

It is a dream for many to own a home. People put in all their life's savings in getting a home. However, in todays world, nothing is permanent. We had to move to multiple places within the city depending on the work location, since it was not feasible to travel for almost 3 hours everyday for work. Our own flat remained vacant most of the time. Lesson learnt : it is not a good idea to own a flat, when your job requires you to be some place else and you have EMIs to pay on the flat. One might argue that the flat could be rented out- believe me, the after tax income from rent will not even cover half the EMI. In addition to that you will have to bear with your tenant's tantrums.

In todays employment world and traffic woes, it is best to have a tension free life - rent a home close to your place of work and have more time on your hand. The bonus point- you will be spending less than half of the EMI which you would have paid if you have purchased a flat.

These are the ten things which I wish I could have done differently. From 2020, I wish to intentionally start on a minimalistic life. That does not mean I am going to throw away/dispose/give away things I have already collected - I am going to use them wisely till they last. What I intend to do is not add on more.

Wishing you a happy, healthy and prosperous New year 2020.

The Smudged Nail Polish

It was 11 O'clock in the night. My toddler had finally fallen asleep. I slowly sneaked out of the bedroom so that I donot wake my daughter or my husband.  With an active toddler, I hardly get any time for myself, to read a book or to relax. I switched on the light in the living room and snuggle in the sofa. I was not in a mood to read anything. So I just relax -  doing nothing.. I was just reminiscing the day when I noticed that my nail polish that I was currently wearing had chipped off.

I decided to change my nail polish color and apply a new shade - a vibrant orangy rose. So equipped with cotton balls,nail polish remover and the new nail color, I head out to the balcony with headphones. I play a relaxing music on my mobile and with careful dabbing of the nail polish remover, I remove the old nail color from both the hands.

Then I soaked my fingers in lukewarm water with a few drops of almond oil and baby shampoo for 5 minutes. Then I washed my hands and pat dried them. This seemed to be a luxury that I was enjoying and I was very pleased with myself.

And then, with loving care, started applying my favorite nail polish. After one coat, I applied one more coat. My fingers looked beautiful - I admired them when I let them dry. Then I thought, let me apply the clear nail polish as top coat. I applied the clear coat and was very pleased with the effect. And.. I started to wait.. for the clear coat to dry..it seemed ages that it took to dry. When I thought the paint was dry, I went to bed and slept-off.

Next day morning, to my display and disappointment, what do I see, my beautiful nails have creases in the paint and also hair marks.. I seemed to have slept off without totally drying up the paint.

Now, the chances of me finding same amount of time to redo my nails in next couple of days seems next to impossible. Then I realise my nails actually look like modern art, like an abstract painting. My thoughts of spoilt nails was replaced by admiration for the new look.

Life is also like that. Sometimes, in spite of all the efforts, the result is not the same as what you expect. That does not mean the result is bad - it may be better.

And as they say - when life gives you lemons, make lemonade :-)