The year that slipped by

Today is 31st Dec 2020 - the new years eve. What can be said of 2020 - It is the year which whoever is alive on the planet earth will not forget, a year that almost slipped by, for most of the people stayed at home. It is a year which brought out different perspective in people, which brought out new meanings of life, new ways of living, new avenues were explored, new normal was defined.

It is a year missed.

A year where we missed physically meeting people, and when met, was at a distance and with a half covered face(masks on!). Children missed school, friends missed hanging out, no meetings outside family, no dinner invitations, no eating out and the list goes on.. many people lost lives, many lost dear ones, many are battling for their lives, and many recovered. And many like me stayed at home for major part of the year. It was like sand slipping through the fingers.

It was a year of unpredictability

A year which made us realise that whatever you have planned for the year can go terribly wrong, your goals unachievable and everything can become topsy-turvy. It was a year where the meaning of  saying that man proposes and God disposes got reinforced. It was year where organizations relooked at options to work remotely and work from home became the new norm. Many people lost jobs, many had salary-cuts. Many so called strong organisations and entities shut shop or just striving through.

It was a year of blessing!

For me personally, despite the world suffering and the restrictions, this was a blessing in disguise. Let me explain : I discovered I was pregnant with my second child on 27th January 2020. The lockdown started end of March and since then, my husband has been mostly working from home till and after the birth of my daughter in August. My elder daughter's school was closed from March and she was at home and has been taking classes online since then. I don't know how I would have managed my pregnancy if I had to drop and pick my daughter to school and my husband had to go to office.

It was a year of panic, of desperation ,of helplessness!

My in-laws tested positive mid of september 2020. I could witness the helplessness, the anguish, the turmoil that my husband faced, since both his parents, who have comorbidities, were suffering far away from him and he could not be physically present there with them. He was in dilemma whether he should go there to help them, or stay back, since if he gets infected, there would not be anyone there at my in-laws place to take care of him, and if he were to return back, he would be exposing the new born and us to infection. It was tough, a very tough call to take. Thankfully, they recovered.

It was a year of gratitude 

Grateful that we are able to sustain, that we have food at our table and roof over our heads. Grateful to have a family, for friends, for well wishers, for friends who are like family. Grateful to be able to afford good medical care and other comforts. Grateful for life overall. 

It was a year of self reliance, aatmanirbharata.

I finally understood my strengths, that I could go on even with physical constraints. We stopped our domestic help and our cook from end of March. I was managing the house, cooking three times, taking care of my 3 year old, managing all the housework inspite of being pregnant, which I managed to do till the eve of my admission to the hospital. I got admitted on 21st August morning, after having contractions most of the previous night. And we were back from the hospital on the day 3 of admission, with the baby. After 15 days downtime, I was able to manage the house again, with a lot of help from my family. I did not visit a beauty parlor and my husband did not visit a salon even for a haircut. I started giving him hair cuts at home and with practice, now I can say that I do a decent job.  I also realized, I can be emotionally strong and can think with my head during stressful situations.

It was a year of extended family time 

With work from home and online classes, the line between school/office and home has become thinner resulting in great family time. We had great fun during festivals, dressed up, had home cooked delicacies, many of which were made for the first time by me, had balcony dinners, overall had a great family time.

This was the year when my little munchkin grew-up overnight

From being the one and only apple of our eyes, she became a elder sister overnight. I feel proud to see how she has coped up with the situation and the divided and reduced attention which she started getting after the baby. She has showed that she is a storehouse of love by being the loving elder sister. She was expected to understand, help and share, which she is doing Proud of her.

It was a year where I rediscovered my creative side

Though I had started my YouTube channel somewhere in 2019, I was not very active and was sporadic in posting videos. With the lockdown and self-imposed stay at home and with husband working from home, I was able to shoot and post videos fairly regularly, in spite of being pregnant and with the housework. This came with the realization, that I enjoyed doing this, which I intend to continue in the coming year.

It was a year where I did zero shopping for myself.

I was a impulsive shopper. I am not a shopaholic, but I have occasions where I splurge without thinking, I shop when I am bored. This year, with restricted stepping out of the house and due to pregnancy, I did not buy any clothes at all. I managed with my old nighties and oversized t-shirts. I recollect, during my first pregnancy, I wanted everything new during pregnancy and after the baby. But this time, I reused my elder daughters clothes which I had kept as keepsakes for my younger one. I also did the bare minimum shopping(online) for the new baby. All the experience gained during the first baby came in handy and I was glad that I am able to maintain the minimalism which I had wanted to in beginning of the year.

It was a year where we ate very less of outside food

Except for the past two months, we have had not ordered in or dined out at all in this year. I tried out different dishes at home and all of us enjoyed it.

It was a year that we realized that we need very less to sustain 

Our tenant vacated the flat we had rented out by end of October and we started living in the flat with bare minimum just to enjoy our flat, in which we had never lived. We rented in basic furniture, carried most essential utensils and a gas stove and a few pairs of clothes to the flat. And we are doing just great. We are totally in love with the minimalistic life. I am cleaning utensils by hand, hand washing clothes and are continuing having great home cooked food. This has made us realize how much of material things we have accumulated over years, which we don't need. We realized that less is enough, that less is more and that less is easy maintenance. One of my goals of 2021 would be to declutter and donate many of the things which we can do away with. 

It was a year where I made peace with negativity around me.

I am a very emotional person. Someone else's behavior affects me adversely and I show the effect on my loved ones by being, moody, angry, sad or sulky. This year, I have realized how I am negatively  affecting my daughter and husband because of my behavior. Now I have learnt to ignore the negativity around me and get on with life. 

So with a very positive outlook, I look forward to the new year. I hope and wish that year 2021 brings in good tidings along with the vaccine and we shall continue the good lessons learnt this year.

Wish you all a very happy, healthy and prosperous new year 2021!

  

How to be Atmanirbhar(self reliant) at home

Finally the lockdown is coming to an end, though not the increase in new covid cases. Many of you would have to return to office to work and have to forego the safety of working from home.

Many of you would have to start to re-employ your domestic helps to help in your household chores and in cooking. But do we really have enough trust in doing so? Are we exposing our loved ones unnecessarily - especially for people who have aged parents, young children, pregnant women, or people with existing ailments who are supposedly in the high risk category? We still have the lingering doubts in our minds to think of opening our doors to infections. (Please note I am not discussing nannies and care givers here. 

These I presume are usually trained well enough to maintain highest degree of hygiene.)

But if we have to go back to office, not getting help from domestic helps is not an option for many of us. Given the situation, how can we avoid that- how can we become “Atmanirbhar” – self reliant and self sufficient at home. Is it even possible?

Thankfully, it  is – with some planning and smart working.

All of us have our basic necessities which need to be met whatever the situation is – food, clothing,and shelter, our roti, kapda aur makhan. If any one of them has to be compromised, our lives get jeopardized. In this post, I am going to discuss about two of the necessities – the food and shelter. Clothing – I am going by the presumption that we don’t require to acquire immediately and in near future(at least for next couple of months). 

Even if we do, I guess those can be ordered online and can be quarantined for couple of days before actual usage.

Now let us talk about food :

To have a meal on our table involves three aspects – acquiring raw material, preparation and cleaning up.

Let’s address one by one – we usually don’t take help in step 1 – we generally buy our raw materials like vegetables, fruits and grocery either from shops or order online.

By now, I presume many of us have already mastered the art of correctly cleaning and storing the vegetables and fruits. For the benefit of those of you who don’t – for perishables like fruits and vegetables, wash them in water with baking soda/salt to disinfect them. The outer packaging of groceries should be discarded immediately after transferring the contents to the containers at home. Ensure you wash your hands and clean the surface where the packages were places after transferring them

For step 2, some of us employ cooks – to prep (by this I mean cleaning,chopping,soaking, grinding) and prepare food.  How can we become self reliant on that – all it requires is a little planning and the right tools and equipment.

   

      1.  Make a meal plan for the week and acquire the required materials for the same.

     2. Clean, chop and store the vegetables in the refrigerator in separate packs. You can invest in a good food processor to ease up the process. My food processor helps me to knead atta, chop and shred vegetables, make idli-dosa batter, make juices, grind masala etc. It saves time and I can process them in bulk and store them in refrigerator for couple of days. For example, I make idli dosa batter , shred and store coconut, knead atta once a week. I also peel garlic(sometimes I buy already peeled garlic, when I am making garlic heavy recipes), separate mint leaves and other regular greens like fenugreek and spinach once  a week and use them throughout the week.

 3.  Have a few easy days where you can have simple breakfast like oatmeal, cornflakes with milk, sandwich, sprouts or just fruits which require very little preparation. Other days you can choose to have simple breakfast like idli, dosa, upma, pongal, poha , Poori/parata etc.

     4. Plan simple lunch menu which requires less time. My every day lunch would include rice, one vegetable side dish and papad/fryums. If it is not some kind of variety rice(like puligore, pulav, biryani, fried rice, mint rice, tomato rice, lemon rice), I have one of dal, sambhar, rasam,dalma to mix with rice.For side dish I have one vegetable dish like okhra, broad beans, potato,any variety of gourd, carrots, beans etc. I ensure to have at least two varieties of greens every week(usually fenugreek and spinach)

 5. If you are not very much particular on variety, you can have go easy on elaborate dinner preparations as well. My weekly dinner would be idli/ dosa for 3 days, roti for 2 days , 1 day wheat dosa, 1 day besan chilla, along with sambhar different types of lentil/gram curries, vegetable curries or paneer.

 6. Store some ready to eat stuff to cater to hunger pangs like pop corn, Makhana, cheese, rusk etc.

Now coming to the most difficult part(at least for me) - cleaning up. Invest in a dishwasher – believe me, it makes your life so much easier, even if you have domestic help. There will be no breakages of crockery and glassware with your dishwasher, you can get squeaky clean and dry utensils and you would take away your dependency on your domestic help. It is an investment which I don’t regret.

Coming to the cleaning of counter top and stove after cooking – for this you have to ensure that you exercise caution to not mess it up much in the first place. Like for example placing the peels and vegetable remains in a separate bin immediately after chopping, using a spoon rest and ensuring lesser accidental spills.Just a wipe after cooking, should clean up the space if you are careful.

Now let us see how to manage the shelter part of necessities - by which I mean dusting, cleaning and mopping.

Dusting – I don’t see an alternative, other than to manually dust. I know some of you might suggest a hand held vacuum cleaner – I find it cumbersome. I prefer the old fashioned duster and dusting cloth, may be with some cleaning solution. For this step, I apply the divide and conquer phenomenon, to dust and clean one part of the house each day, so that the whole chore will not look daunting. Having a clutter free home helps expedite the process. I don’t prefer to have too many decor objects at home in order to complete dusting faster. Have decor which you can maintain. Others, pack it up and put it away for better times( like when you can safely have your help back). Have pools/stations, where you can place similar items on a tray, which can ease -up wiping and dusting. For example, place your center table decor on a tray, TV remotes and  mobile chargers in a box/tray, Oils and seasonings in the kitchen in a tray, so that it becomes easy to move one tray instead of many smaller objects while cleaning.Using washable  table cloth and place-mats on dining table helps avoid dusting of the same. After use , you just need throw it in the washing machine to clean it.

Cleaning and mopping : I can almost hear many of you whispering vacuum cleaner again. But from my experience, vacuuming is more cumbersome than actual manual sweeping. You have to cover every inch of the space with your vacuum cleaner to clean. Moreover, it does not mop. Thankfully, we live in times of the robot cleaners, which go about sweeping and mopping all by themselves. The good and funny part is, unlike vacuum cleaners, they go and plug themselves in the charging point to charge themselves after their juice runs out. So my next investment suggestion to be self reliant at home is – robot cleaner.

A good food processor, dishwasher and robot cleaner- these three gifts of technology shall help us to stay atmanirbhar (self reliant)

Please share your views in comments what else good be done to atmanirbhar at home.

How to keep kids engaged - during lock down

These are testing times indeed - testing our endurance, our patience, our adaptability, our compassion and our human values.

With the out break of the novel corona virus and the threat it poses to the world and to our country, it has become advisable not to venture out unless there is a dire need to do so. With online shopping for groceries, work from home option for many and schools shut down, this does not seem to be difficult.

But after a week or so being at home with the complete family - kids who want to play all day, spouse who has telecons and is working from home and in many instances the domestic help and cook being absent, it becomes daunting - especially to manage kids,with restrictions on usage of play area, the pool and other common amenities.

If you have a kid who still not in the able to read by self stage, these tips are for you :

1. Read from story books : This is the time to inculcate the joy of books to the kid. Order some picture story books which the kid can look at when you are reading the story to him/her. Be as dramatic and as expressive as you can be. Use voice modulation, facial expression and hand gestures to make them understand and visualise the character. If there is an older sibling(s), next time when the child wants the story they can try to imitate the way you told the story. Ask the child to repeat the story the next day. And when he/she does it, applaud and praise them.

2.Coloring books and white paper : Get some coloring books and crayons/color pencils. Make the child color the book. Let them make a mess on the books and get as creative as only they can be on the white paper. It is ok as long as they have fun. To ensure they donot scribble/color on the walls or furniture, place a mat/carpet/rug in the middle of the room Tell them we are on pretend play and we are on a boat - what ever falls off the mat/carpet/rug is into the water and cannot be retrieved. Play along with them

3. Hide and seek : Play hide and seek at home. Before start, educate them of no go places, like near to the electrical appliances like fridge, washing machine computer, into the kitchen, wet bathroom(s), open balconies etc. Identify the unsafe places to hide and restrict those places as no go.

4. Play dressing up : It is not necessary to wear your best clothes only if you have a party to attend or during festivals. Bring out the party wear/festival wear and dress up the kid (and yourself if you like). Get the full party/festive looks - do the hair, wear appropriate jewellery and make up. And take plenty of photographs. Pose as silly as possible. Play these photos on TV and giggle along with your kid(s). If you have some particular costumes for your kid(s) you can use them too.Be as imaginative as possible.

5.Make them do small house hold work : Kids, especially the young ones, love to do what the grown-ups do. Take advantage of this - ask them to help you in shelling peas, separating the leaves from leafy vegetables like fenugreek/amaranthus, sweep the floor, dust the table, arranging the cushions on sofa,sort and pick their clothes from the washed clothes pile, etc. Donot expect the job to be completed by them Remember, our intention is to keep them engaged, not to get the work them, Engage them in converstion when they are doing it and praise them when they attempt to do it right.

6. Shoe lace and beads : Get a shoe lace and some big beads and ask them to create a string of beads . It is easier to string on the hard end of the shoelace. Make a bracelet/necklace for dolls from them and make a big show off of their achievement by showing the finished product to everyone in the family.

7. Increase screen time : I completely understand how finicky most of us are in allowing more screen time to kids. But these are difficult times. It is ok if kids watch an hour more of TV. Just be sure that what they watch is age appropiate. My daughter is 3.5 years old and I play animated movies for her, which I watch along with her explaining scene by scene, so that she understands and enjoys the same.

8. Plant something and make them watch it grow :I think money plants are a life saver here - get a clear glass bottle, pour water and put a money plant in it. Show the kids how the roots and leaves grow. Make it a ritual to see the growth every day morning. 

9. Make them talk and listen to them : Ask them to recollect past instances like some trip, or a visit to a friends place, or to a restaurant, supermarket etc and listen to them, ask questions as appropriate - many times we will be pleasantly surprised to see the world from their perspective. This improves their ability to recollect and elaborate and explain things. 

10. Make plans for future : Discuss and ask them to make plans for immediate future, like what we will do when we can go out to the mall/supermarket/pool etc. Make them list down all the steps we need to follow For example, my daughter's version to go out on a saturday, she needs to wake up, brush her teeth, use the bathroom, take bath ,wash her hair(I wash her hair on saturdays), dry her hair, have milk, eat breakfast, pack her shopping bag(she has a small backpack in which she carries water bottle, change of clothes, hankies and diapers), ask ma and papa to get ready, wear shoes and then go to the car. After going to the mall, she will want to have icecream/pizza/chicken popcorn, visit toy store, ride in shopping cart etc.. she will list down that as well.

For older kids :

11. Teach them crafts : This is a good time to make them learn a new craft, be it sewing, embroidery, painting, knitting, anything which they are interested in

12. Sudoku/Puzzles/board games : They can do sudoku, solve puzzles or play board games like chess, snake and ladders, carroms etc. Many of these can be done online. Just be sure you monitor what they are doing.

13. Reading fiction/Non-fiction : If there is no stress on upcoming examinations, make them read fiction/non-fiction to enhance their vocabulary and knowledge.

14 : Cooking and other basic survival needs: Make them learn basic cooking like making tea, boiling eggs, making a sandwich, set a cooker, make small meals etc. Ensure safety when in kitchen. Make them keep the home clean, run a washing machine, fold clothers, organise their books, and be presentable always. This will help you in the lonjg run when you need a break from the every day chores.

With the scare of pandemic all around, let us try to create a positive environment at home and stay safe.

My new year day over the years

Today is 1st of Jan 2020. Most of the people of the world are celebrating the New years day - Last night, many of my friends partied hard, some of my friends are on their vacation to exotic places, some of the folks threw lavish dinners. For a few like me we stayed at home, life going on as usual. Yes, I did make a few calls to the people I value most in my life wishing them the best in the year to come. But other than that, when I introspect and after seeing all facebook posts and instagram updates, do I have FOMO(the millenial word for fear of missing out)? Thankfully, no. I am happy to be where I am with what I have. 

I was chatting with my husband how New year day used be when we were younger - when we were in school, college, beginning of employment and were musing over how New years day celebration has changed over years.

When I was in school, New years day used to fall during winter vacation. Most of the first 10 years of my life, my parents took me to our native place, in remote Tamil Nadu, where I would have the best of holidays with my cousins. It used to be the get together time for the entire family. I don't recall wishing anyone happy new year in the first 10-12 years of my life(please ignore my first 6 years- I was too young to remember them).

Next phase is when I entered my teens. That was the time,when I had started reading a lot of books and my awareness of the outside world began to widen - thanks to Enid Blyton books and various comics and magazines. That was also the time when greeting cards started appearing in the small town I grew up in. Some well off kids used to give the teachers New year greeting cards after the vacation at school. For those like me who do not know where to acquire them, in order to feel not left out, I started painting beautiful pictures and turned them to greeting cards to give them to teachers. That was new year for me - no celebrations, not at home , not in the town. I do not know if my other classmates celebrated New year. For all I know, everyone celebration Ugadi- the Telugu New year, not the Calendar New year. During 9th- 10th standard, I knew where to buy the greeting cards and bought them depending on the spare pocket money left. Else, the painted cards continued for the New year and most of the Indian festivals like Sankranti, Deepavali etc. Being south Indian,we did not celebrate Holi.

After school, during my intermediate college, graduation days, the New year was a time when greeting cards were purchased in advance with fervor, addressed and posted. I used to receive a few from my friends and cousins too, some of which I still am holding on to. On New years day, we meet up in someones' house , chit chat and hand exchange greeting cards. That was the celebration.

Then after graduation, I moved to Chennai - the circle of friends grew; new friends with new ideas got added. Night show movie plans, mid night beach plans were made. But since I was staying in a hostel which had a cut-off time of 9.30 p.m, I just used to listen to the stories of what my friends did on New years eve. 

After taking up employment, in the initial few years, every day was fun,every weekend was a celebration - be it with friends or alone. If with friends, used to go on drives, try different restaurents. If alone, binge watch movies or read books with pizza, coke , potato chips and many other junk food. Did not really miss celebrating New year.

After marriage, New year became a time to make new resolutions, have a scoreboard of last years resolutions and evaluate how many of them were achieved, catch up with friends, binge on good food.

Past few years - New years day became just one more day in life. And I am  absolutely fine with that.

Now coming to my husbands New years celebration - during his school and college days, it was the day of picnic - when family and friends get together to catch-up on happening of others life. Since most of them were in public sector, the public holidays were the time when they look forward to meet the family and friends. Being the time when landline  phones where limited and public transport was not that great, catching up could happen only on those days. They used to go to some place closer to jungle with a good water source with all the equipment and ingredients required for cooking. It was a communal cooking, serving and eating. All good anecdotes are shared, games played, playful teasing done - everyone had a good time and everyone used to look forward to it. He misses those picnics in Bangalore.

New year day nowadays has become a big market. It has become a big event with event managers being engaged, party costumes designed, venues being selected, fat entrance fee being paid and big lavish parties with food , dance and booze being organised in various places in the city.In our own society, the community hall is decorated with innumerable balloons, glitter paper, lights, and all the other party decoration, There is ban on use of plastic and everyone is advised to use reusable cutlery, cups and plates. I dont know why balloons and other plastic based decorations are not banned. I feel they do cause an equal damage to the environment.

Over the years, I feel the idea of having a good time has changed. It has become more of a social pressure than actually have a good time. But if you cut out the FOMO, the basics good things in life still persist - tasty food, meeting/chatting with friends, good books, good movies, playing a game, listening to music, visiting interesting places, praying to God. So what is your pick?